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The
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Cuba --- Prices and Details |
Waskesiu --- fat cats and bureaucrats turn a peoples' park into a gated community for bears, mosquitoes and rich folk
by the Old Contrarian from Pincher Creek Friday, September 03, 2010 ---
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Was Prime Minister John Diefenbaker a ku kluxer?
by the Eye Opener's U.S. affairs correspondent, John Ware Monday, August 30, 2010 ---
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Kop-Speak for Dummies
by Paddy Nolan, Q.C., The Eye Opener's Legal Specialist Friday, August 20, 2010 ---
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Kanada doesn't need a census because ...
by Chief Chapo-Mexico, The Eye Opener's Aboriginal Correspondent Monday, August 16, 2010 ---
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British Petroleum -- why Americans love to hate Englishmen
by the Eye Opener's expert on Financial Manipulation, Lord Strathcona Monday, August 16, 2010 ---
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Bill Gates and Henry Ford duke it out at the Alberta Long Bar then constipate
The Eye Opener's special correspondent at the Long Bar at the Alberta Hotel Thursday, August 12, 2010 ---
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Feelin' the pain --- $3,000,000 for Clinton wedding
by Paddy Nolan, Q.C., The Eye Opener's Legal Specialist Sunday, August 08, 2010 ---
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Big Brother crowns how-high-yes-man King of Kanada
by the Old Contrarian from Pincher Creek Thursday, July 29, 2010 ---
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by Paddy Nolan, Q.C., The Eye Opener's Legal Specialist
18-Jan-10
- Paddy Nolan claims bossy bullies and authoritarians, like Stephen Harper, when they were still in diapers, got too much potty training --- and, so, they're driven, and always will be, to prove their manhoods.
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PRIME
MINISTER STEPHEN HARPER IS THE FINEST LEADER WE COULD HOPE FOR --- ALL
HE NEEDS NOW IS A MAJORITY GOVERNMENT SO THESE DAMN NOBODIES IN THE HOUSE
OF COMMONS AREN'T SABOTAGING HIM --- THEY'RE NOTHING BUT TRAITORS |
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DE CULO DE TORO!!!!
IF THE CANADIAN PEOPLE GIVE HIM A MAJORITY GOVERNMENT --- SAY GOOD-BYE
TO DEMOCRACY --- HITLER HIMSELF WILL ROLL OVER IN HIS GRAVE --- WITH ENVY
--- FOR THE SPEED HARPER TAKES TO PUT IN A DICTATORSHIP. |
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WELL AT LEAST
HE'S AUTHORITARIAN ENOUGH TO GET THINGS DONE |
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HIS WAY ---
NOT THE RIGHT WAY. LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO TORY SUPPORT. HE WAS DAMNED SURE
THAT CANADIANS DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT CANADIAN CULTURE SO, RIGHT IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE 2008 ELECTION, HE CUT HIS ARTS BUDGET BY $45 MILLION --- THAT'S
TRUE OF ENGLISH CANADIANS --- BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN FORCE FED A DIET OF SUBSIDIZED
DE CULO DE TORO BY THE TORONTO CANCON COMMUNITY --- HARPER DIDN'T WORRY
ABOUT QUEBEC --- HIS QUEBEC CABINET MINISTERS WARNED HIM THAT QUEBECERS
LOVE THEIR CULTURE AND HE WAVED THEIR ADVICE ASIDE IN FACT HE MARKED THEM
DOWN IN HIS LITTLE BLACK BOOK AND, OUT OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH, HE SNARLED:
"COM'ON YOU GUYS --- SMARTEN UP --- IT'S A NICHE TOPIC ... ORDINARY
CANADIANS DON'T CARE". |
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AND THEN HE
LOST NUMEROUS SEATS IN QUEBEC BECAUSE OF THAT --- WHY THE HELL WOULD HE
DO THAT |
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SIMPLY BECAUSE
HE IS AN AUTHORITARIAN -- PEOPLE THINK THAT AUTHORITARIANS ARE RULED BY
REASON --- DEAD WRONG --- THEY'RE RULED BY EMOTION --- LOOK AT HOW HE SHUT
DOWN (PROROGUED) PARLIAMENT LAST MONTH ---- WHEN JIM
PRENTICE WARNED HIM THAT THE CANADIAN PEOPLE WOULDN'T STAND FOR THEIR
DEMOCRATIC RIGHTS BEING TRAMPLED --- HIS RESPONSE (AFTER MARKING PRENTICE
DOWN IN HIS LITTLE BLACK BOOK): "THE CANADIAN PEOPLE'RE ALL SHEEP ---
THEY WON'T GIVE A DAMN" |
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HE REMINDS ME OF THAT OLD ENGLISH PUTTY-HEAD
GENERAL
MIDDLETON WHO MARCHED ALL HIS TROOPS IN RED JACKETS UP TO A RAVINE
AT FISH CREEK --- HE WAS SURE THAT WOULD SCARE THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF US
METIS HIDDEN IN RIFLE PITS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RAVINE -- A YOUNG
CANADIAN SERGEANT WARNED MIDDLETON --- MIDDLETON COURT-MARTIALED HIM FOR
BEING CHEEKY -- I READ IN A BOOK CALLED "ON
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MILITIARY INCOMPETENCE" --- THAT IT WASN'T
SO MUCH THAT MIDDLETON WAS STUPID BUT THAT HIS NANNY OVER-DID IT ON HIS
POTTY TRAINING --- AFTER THAT HE ALWAYS SUSPECTED HE WASN'T A MAN ---
AT THE BATTLE OF FISH CREEK --- HE COULDN'T HELP HIMSELF HE WAS PROVING
HIS MANHOOD --- HELL OR HIGH WATER WOULDN'T HAVE STOPPED HIM --- MES AMIS
--- DID WE HAVE A TURKEY SHOOT
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SAME THING WITH STEPHEN HARPER --- I'M SURE
HE WAS OVER POTTY TRAINED --- SO IF HIS QUEBEC ADVISERS OR JIM PRENTICE
ARGUE WITH HIM --- HE THINKS THEY'RE ATTACKING HIS MANHOOD --- TO STOP
OTHER ATTACKS -- FOR EXAMPLE --- HE WON'T LET CABINET MINISTERS HAVE THEIR
OWN EMAIL ADDRESSES - HE'S AN ANAL
RETENTIVE PERSONALITY METASTASIZED INTO AN AUTHORITARIAN
PERSONALITY --- HE'S TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL --- HE'S MADE TWO SUICIDAL
DECISIONS FOR THE TORY PARTY --- THINK OF WHAT HE'D DO TO CANADA IF HE
HAD A MAJORITY GOVERNMENT --- IN OTHER WORDS --- IF HE BECOMES A DICTATOR. |
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WHAT'LL 'E
DO NEXT? |
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MICHAELLE
JEAN IS THE MOST POPULAR GOVERNOR GENERAL IN CANADIAN HISTORY --- BUT
SHE WAS A LIBERAL, SHE HESITATED WHEN HARPER TOLD HER TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT
IN 2008 --- SHE'S A WOMAN --- AUTHORITARIANS ARE HOSTILE TO WOMEN BECAUSE
WOMEN SUGGEST EFFIMANCY --- ANY HONEST, BRAVE ADVISERS STILL STANDING ---
THIS SEPTEMBER, WHEN HARPER HAS TO APPROVE HER FOR A FURTHER TERM OF OFFICE
--- WILL TELL HIM TO, FOR GOD'S SAKE EXTEND HER TERM --- THEY'LL GET THEIR
BLACK MARKS --- "SHE'S ONLY A WOMAN --- SHE'S A LIBERAL FOR GOD'S SAKES
--- GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE," HE'LL HISS |
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I'VE RUN INTO THESE BIRDS BEFORE --- NEVER,
NEVER, NEVER --- GIVE THIS GUY A MAJORITY GOVERNMENT --- HE'LL DESTROY
THE COUNTRY --- PROVING HE'S A MAN |
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